Experiment #1: Where Does All the Time Go?

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Experiment: Track all personal and professional time for a week straight.

Hypothesis: I’ll gain a clearer vision of what I might need to let go, sift through, sort, and remove from my plate. Backed by my self-reported data, I’ll have the fuel to more easily and readily say, “NO”. On the other side of this experiment, my hypothesis is that there will be giant gates of FREEDOM awaiting me.

Result: Read on, dear reader, read on!

Once Upon a Time, I was AMAZING at time management…

It’s one of my claims to fame! I feel like I have pretty good time management skills, I’m organized, productive, and focused. I like planning and getting all the ducks to line up in a neat little row. Sure, these seem like strengths and positives at first glance, but I’m sure a psychologist would look a layer deeper and deem this some sort of reaction to feeling out of control in my childhood, “managing my time” (or more accurately, the illusion of such) gives me a semblance of control and feeling of stability.

When I have a grip on my time, when I get everything on my list done as planned, when every hour is accounted for and productive in some way, the world is a peaceful and orderly place. If things go upside down, I feel stressed, overwhelmed, out of control, and if that continues to happen over a span of time… I sometimes drop the reigns entirely.

I like:

• Structure

• Routine

• Productivity that’s actually momentum and progress

• Tying up loose ends, finishing projects/tasks, and moving on

• Getting “assignments” done early and ASAP

• Not feeling like I wasted time

• Working alone and without distraction and…

• Work before play

• Having FREE time to do whatever I want without having a list looming over me with everything I “should” be doing (more on this in a moment)

I dislike:

• Chaos

• People dictating my time

• Anything that even smells like the two bullet points above

And yes, I’ve already psychoanalyzed myself so spare yourself that unnecessary task!

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The Great Time Management Implosion of Emily Aborn (aka when the dumpster fire began)

It started when 2022 trickled its way into 2023. The end of 2022 involved a double dose of illnesses, a slow few months of business, and the inevitable holiday vortex. The beginning of 2023 came at us with two deaths (both of my grandparents), two sicknesses (my husband and I got our butts kicked by Covid), a massive snowstorm complete with power outage, a collapsing friendship, and all the while, a valiant attempt to keep my two businesses running smoothly without burning myself down alongside my dumpster fire.

That’s when I started to let things slide…

My time boundaries slowly eroded to nothing. It didn’t hurt. Sometimes it was OK. Sometimes it was even nice. Sometimes it was awful. But rather than simply redefine them, I kept on expanding them until there were no boundaries at all. I never really recovered. I started seeing my time as more flexible and loosey-goosey, and added things here, there, and everywhere -even when ultimately, it didn’t work for me.

I want to say right up front, I think this works for a lot of people. Or maybe they’ve just convinced themselves it works for them. Some people would say I’m too rigid with my time. But the benefit to me is that when I’m intentional about my time, I’m PRESENT everywhere I go. I have more to give to everyone I’ve said YES to. And I have flex/free time that isn’t filled and full of stress.

That’s what I want back.

For far too longggggggg now, I’ve felt that almost every day is a furious attempt to mix and match, juggle, and dance, all without really getting much of anything done at all. Which perhaps explains the excess of cortisol pumping through my veins right now.

The worst part? I make my own damn schedule. So, it’s me, hi. I’m the problem it’s me. I’m did this to myself!

Enter the First Experiment

I decided that I needed to separate the “wheat from the chaff” in my calendar and do a hard reset on my time boundaries. To do that, I needed an honest look so I could get a bird’s eye view of what I was working with. How bad had things gotten? Something’s gotta’ give -what will it be?!

Questions I set out to answer:

• What am I even doing with all my time?

• What can I “Bye Felicia” and let go of entirely?

• Is there anything I can “stack” aka find more efficiency by doubling up two things in one?

• Is there anything I wish I had more time for?

• What do I want to do with “extra” time?

The Process and Tools

I used a simple notebook (my preference is Mead Five-Star, college-ruled probably because it brings me back to my school days when note-taking was an art form) and started on Monday, May 13th. I went through Sunday, May 19th to give a proper time estimate both during weekdays and the weekends.

Sidebar: I don’t really care what anyone says, I don’t think working on the weekends is bad, wrong, or should be something to strive for if it brings you joy, or if you’re in a season where you need to catch up a bit. Do what works for you. You make the rules! I’m not attempting to abolish all weekend labor but I want to greatly decrease it during the summer months (NH is only nice for three months a year and I intend to enjoy them). My only boundaries around weekends are that I don’t do client projects on the weekends and never want to spend my entire weekend at my computer #beentheredonethat.

To track my time, I wrote each day out as follows with a description of what happened in each segment of time:

Monday

• 5:45-6:15 Wake up, meditate, do my hair, make my bed, wash my face (you know, all that pre-morning morning routine)

• 6:20-6:45 Walk

• 6:45-7:15 Journaling, coffee, try to avoid phone other than texting Wordle to Mom and Jason

• 7:15-8:45 I dub this “Power Hour” (writing on Substack, social post, responding to LinkedIn message and emails) but it goes well beyond an hour, as you can see.

• 8:45-9:15 Walk Clyde and call a friend back who wished me a happy b-day!

• 9:15-9:30 Shower and get ready for the day

• 9:30-9:40 Lost time… got distracted (One second, I was was fixing something on my website, and the next, I was researching Evening Primrose Oil and Wild Yam extract 😂)

• 9:40-10:00 Breakfast and reading*

• 10:00-10:49 Respond to social posts, write back to more emails, got distracted on Substack because I’d just learned about it’s splendor the day before and wanted to keep playing!

• 10:50-11:00 Finalized business newsletter I send to my list on Tuesdays

• 11:00-12:00 Writing client website copy

• 12:00-1:00 Call with Chamber of Commerce to assist them with their podcast

• 1:00-1:45 Typed follow-up notes/action steps for them from our meeting

• 1:45-2:15 Started writing for a new client and laid out her Site Map and folder

• 2:15-2:30 Got ready for grocery store

• 2:30-3:38 Grocery shopping

• 3:38-4:00 Put groceries away and regroup

• 4:00-4:40 Finishing touches on a client’s team member bios

• 4:40-5:00 Walk with Clyde

• 5:00-6:30 Make and enjoy dinner

• 6:30-7:00 Mindless scrolling, Scrabble with my father-in-law, responding to any final emails to get back to Inbox Zero.

• 7:00-8:45 TV time with my husband

• 8:45-9:00 Bedtime routine (brush, floss, pee six million times so I don’t wake up in the middle of the night six million more, end of day journaling, etc)

• 9:00-9:30 Reading* until my eyelids got too heavy and Zzzzzz…

I continued to do this for the rest of the week: Tuesday - Sunday. And don’t worry, I won’t bore you with all the days and how I spent each waking moment.

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But I WILL now bore you with what I learned and didn’t:

1. Responding to emails takes me WAY more time than I’d like and way more time than I allot for it. This is a universal problem, I think. You think it’s just going to be “one quick response” and ten minutes later, you’re now making a Loom video describing what you said in the email just so it’s clear. I only reply to lengthy emails/messages from my computer because I like to use paragraphs, color coding for important steps, and bullet points. I prefer to read emails on my computer too. This doesn’t increase the time it takes me to check/respond/read emails overall, it just makes the time blocks I need to do so, longer. I’d like to get better at not checking my email all day long and instead sticking to THREE times a day. Morning, afternoon, and wrapping up my day. I also need to unsubscribe from some lists and unsubscribe from some tasks that have me reading and replying to emails I don’t need to be.
   

2. I’m way better at saying NO to calls, projects, collaborations, and tasks that are a waste of my time than I ever was. But… this past week, like a sucker, I still said yes to a call with someone I knew wasn’t going to be a good fit, and I did it anyway. Sadly, the call proved me right in being just a time suck (and in this case, an energy suck too). Next time, I’ll just pass them on to someone who’s a better fit from the get-go. I also found myself doing something that doesn’t fit into my schedule, yet moving heaven and earth to make it happen because it works for the other party involved. It ended up being fine, but I think I need to un-commit or revise the time we do it. Other major time sucks are around DRIVING places. I used to be really good at separating days out of the house from days in the house and that has all but gone by the wayside. I lose tons of focus, productivity, and time “regrouping” when I split my day up going places (outward/social energy) and working for clients (more inward/creative energy).
   

3. I have some inefficiencies and bad systems, and I don’t feel like solving them. I’m actually OK with some time-wasting, I don’t mind mundane tasks I could be outsourcing, and I’m sick of trying to fix everything. To be honest, I don’t really care that much about maximizing my efficiency. I enjoy everything I do in/on my business! And I’m the rare bird that means that! Here’s an example of inefficiency at its finest: I record client meetings and get the transcript from our calls… but I also take notes because my brain remembers things better and it helps me concentrate and think creatively if I handwrite while they talk. After the call, I type the notes up and put them in their Google Doc folder. I’m sure I could take a picture of my scribblings and upload the picture, but I need it in a Google Doc, typed because I use it later. I could type while on the call with them but I find the clicking distracting and every time someone does that to me, it feels like they’re not present. I haven’t found a system that works thus far besides my Stone Age-esque method. And guess what? I don’t care. So, this kind of time suck is here to stay, for now.
   

4. I need to make my time on social media and Substack more intentional. I don’t want to be spending my life on social media. I enjoy it in moderation, but it’s not something I “need” to do. On Instagram, I’m having fun like 90% of the time, and the other 10% trying to post for my business/podcast. In other words, do as I say, not as I do! On Facebook, I focus on groups and the lives of people I’m interested in, and on LinkedIn, I’m there for the conversations and getting a finger on the pulse, if you will. And then, the only other thing I’m on is Substack, which candidly, I have no idea what I’m doing here yet. My time experiment showed me that I get distracted easily on social media (the algorithm villains are winning) and I need to tighten up WHY I’m on there in the first place. Reign it back in.
   

5. The most rewarding parts of my day are the unplanned parts! And simultaneously, the simple ones! A meaningful conversation with my husband on a Saturday afternoon, calling a friend, reconnecting with my brother, walking with my friend and her dog, that last glorious walk of the day with just me and my dog as we decompress together, the fresh air in the morning, sipping my coffee and trying to figure out Wordle, journaling and getting a new epiphany, reading in fits and bouts, and watching Jeopardy at night. I never want things to be so chaotic that I don’t get these moments. And that my friend, is why I like to be better about what I commit to as far as “must-do’s”! Because I want my life to have ample time and space for the unplanned.
   

6. Regrouping after distractions is brutal. This is probably my biggest takeaway of all! Whether it’s a call, text message, driving somewhere, listening to a Voxer (voice message) halfway through a task, trying to multi-task (not a thing), or mindlessly scrolling something, getting distracted doesn’t serve me. My entire day can become a distraction if I let it! And regrouping is, for me, a nightmare.

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The Final Result:

This experiment was good for me. Especially as a first step FOR what other experiments I want to consider and where they’ll fit. I learned that running around and being ultra “responsive” and “reciprocal” all the time, leaves me exhausted and not able to bring my best to what I’m working on. I don’t have extra time to squeeze more things into my workday without letting something go. I want more time for FUN and enjoyment, not more WORK. Right now, there’s a small thing I can safely say “sayonara” to and another that’s on the chopping block… to be concluded.

I was reminded that I don’t need to say “YES” without taking time for consideration. I can always say, “I’ll circle back to you on that.” “Let me check my calendar for that week.” Or any other number of sentences that don’t commit me on the spot.

The upcoming week is my first real-time test with the newfound insight and data. Will I start upholding my boundaries? Will I start taking steps to reclaim my schedule and time? Will I have the chutzpah to let go of things that were uninvited to my party or have overstayed their welcome? Is there room for flex, flow, anddddddd my plan :)?

Will you try this experiment? Or perhaps something similar?

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The P.S

*Of course, you were wondering, I’m currently reading Stephen King’s Fairytale. I’ll always let you know about good books! I do recommend it if you’re into a little weird, most definite fiction, and some amazing writing. Next up is Sociopath by Patric Gagne and simultaneously, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (which coincides with a future experiment)

**When I get back to balance, I’ll be structuring my days/weeks as follows:

• Monday: Morning catching up on my business + afternoon client work

• Tuesday: Client work day

• Wednesday: All calls, meetups, interviews, client meetings, and out-of-house events

• Thursdays: Networking in AM, errands + afternoon client work day

• Fridays: Depends on client workload/deliverables but this a flip-flop of Monday

I think I can accomplish this the first full week in June. Just in time for Summer FUN!

Other time management practices I’m getting back to:

I time-block my day. I do this first thing in the morning or the night before. Personally, I work best focusing on one task at a time for a LONG time and time-blocking in 2-3 hour chunks works well for me. I try to have only relevant tabs open on my screen at any given time, if I want to research something and go down a rabbit hole, I write it down to look at later or email it to myself using “schedule send”. When working, I use music without lyrics (ie. Peaceful Piano or Binaural Beats) to cue my brain to go into deep work mode. Every week is a little different, both physically, creatively, mentally, and calendarly (new word) and I’m continuously learning to embrace that as stability and safety, even in flux. :)

I think that’s it, friend! If you read this far, you owe yourself a treat. I’m an open book, and love brainstorming and strategizing time management ideas, so don’t hesitate to send me a message.

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If this didn’t satiate you, I invite you to read the article I wrote for Brainz Magazine on Befriending your Time vs. Managing It. It’s old (2020) and slightly pandemic-induced, but it’s full of ideas for making friends with your calendar.